Rubbish. The theme word of the day today for me! A random mattress appeared outside my commercial buildings driveway this morning. Given the location being the top of Nelson Street in Auckland CBD, one would have thought it was an odd place to find a random mattress.
I've stopped being surprised about what people dump in my car park. In fact I've literally come to work and found someone has even taken a dump in my car-park, yup that was a shit day- literally! But that's a story for another day.
On Union Street, the Rubbish Direct Truck (which I have actually phoned the company and complained about twice) was yet again blocking the lane onto Nelson Street and the Motorway. Awesome. Some selfish Rubbish Collector parking on double yellow lines during rush-hour, and yup, blocking my lane! This made me sit in traffic for extra time I didn't need to spend.
I then turned the corner onto Nelson Street to see my Rubbish Bins (1 has been stolen already) lying sideways across the footpath blocking pedestrian traffic. Not far from them was the dirty old used mattress someone has dumped next to my driveway.
They say things come in threes, but seriously by 8.30am?
So the first thing I do is walk up the stairs and google for Auckland Council Rubbish Removal. After being transferred to the right department, I find myself speaking to a lovely call centre operator. I tell her my dilemma 'there is a mattress that has been dumped on the council verge next to our driveway'.
After many keyboard clicks later and being asked to hold the line, she comes back and asks if I'd like the reference number for the job. I tell her 'no', I'm just ringing to report it.
She then tells me 'OK, it will take up to 5 days to remove' - I then said- 'what- 5 days!' She said, yes, we first have to send out a Rubbish Inspector. At this point I think I was speechless. "really" was all I could squeak out in the nicest possible way. I said I better take the reference number down then!
I hung up and first though. Wow- they need a Rubbish Inspector to come and have a look at a dumped single mattress. Why? To see how dirty it is? They wear gloves right? Surely all single mattresses are the same or similar size and weight. Then I though, nope, its my rates. My rates exorbitant so there must be a flag against my file that says "commercial building owner'- make sure they get their money's worth"! Then I had to email everyone residing in our building to tell them its going to be there for up to 5 days. Awesome!
I then couldn't help myself so I actually went onto the council's website and searched for the job 'Rubbish Inspector". I was so curious about what this person would do that I needed to see if I could find out more. No hits. Hmm. I tried again with the word 'waste'. Then I smiled. There is was in gold. My gold plated council rates in a nutshell.
The advert title read "Ambassadors For Clean Wanted - Expression of Interest - Greater Auckland Location - City Parks Services".
OMG- An Ambassador for Clean. What next! Lets be honest here- a rubbish collector must be a crappy job. But when I read the next line I wondered how someone let Marketing get away with this:
"Life is definitely too short for the wrong jobs so, if you love the outdoors, come and join City Parks Services!"
It then went on to say " We are currently having a number of opportunities available, so if you like an early morning start, or driving through the night we have you covered".
I though, hmm of all the people I know, I can't think of 1 that would like early morning starts or driving through the night!
The more I read the more I ended up in laughter. There was another part to the advert that said
"
Our teams
constantly deliver a high standard of cleaning across a wide range of indoor
and outdoor acilities, from public toilets and sports changing rooms, to
children's playgrounds and beaches.".
By personal choice I try to avoid public toliets at all costs. I can't imagine the excitement someone must have reading this advert to see them listed on the Expression of Interest.
Since my day has been about Rubbish, I've taken the honest approach to adding footnotes to the advert to keep it real and be 'Authentic, my changes in red below. Happy reading. Just goes to show a Rubbish Day can end in laughter
Ambassadors For Clean Wanted - Expression of Interest - Greater Auckland
Location - City Parks Services
https://careers.aucklandcouncil.govt.nz/jobdetails?ajid=XwVyl
Rubbish Collector- Greater Auckland
Ambassadors For
Clean Wanted
Rubbish Collector Wanted
Expression of
Interest
We'll be lucky to get anyone to apply so we'll call it something different
Life is definitely
too short for the wrong jobs so, if you love the outdoors, come and join City
Parks Services!
Its possible you;ve just lost your job and need another one, have never had a job, or perhaps never seriously considered Rubbish Collection as a career. You have to work in rain, hail, sun and wind, its an all weather job, if it doesn't make you, it will break you.
City Parks Services
is a leading provider of waste collection and sanitation services as well as
maintenance of some of Auckland's best open spaces, so much so, we are proud
that our organisation is going through an exciting period of growth and in need
of new staff.
There is a lot more rubbish that needs collection as there are more people in Auckland in a smaller space therefore more Rubbish is generated. With the housing shortage in Auckland, there are more people living in less houses and therefore more rubbish generated in Auckland. There is just too much rubbish for our current team to handle.
We are currently
having a number of opportunities available, so if you like an early
morning start, or driving through the night we have you covered.
The truth of the matter is you'll start early and potentially work all day and probably into the night, Potentially you'll do this while smelling rotting rubbish for the day. You may also end up smelling like rubbish yourself.
A little about us
and the fun stuff we do daily:
Rubbish is not a fun job, but we'll try and make it sound better, if we don't you;ll probably never apply!
We are a fun
well-functioning team who pride ourselves on providing everyday exceptional
customer service to Auckland's residents and visitors.
We pick up a LOT of rubbish, everyday. Even when tourists drop it, we still pick it up
Our teams
constantly deliver a high standard of cleaning across a wide range of indoor
and outdoor facilities, from public toilets and sports changing rooms, to
children's playgrounds and beaches.
We clean dirty dirty public toilets and have to make them really, really clean. You have to scrub them, smelly sports changing rooms and childrens playgrounds when young kids rub sticky stuff in places really hard to get to. Beaches also have dog poo. You also have to pick that up too
Because it is not
just about cleaning and waste, it is also about the 400,000 people a year that
will visit some of our key sites (such as Domain Winter Gardens) along with
hundreds of sport teams who will untimely rely on us to prepare 300 playing
surfaces to a winning standard. Our teams also constantly deliver a high
standard of collection and recycling services across Auckland, and we do it
with our customers at heart. We also sweat the small stuff too, as we are often
the ones re-planting that little garden at the end of your street.
You have to pick up so much rubbish, you won't even believe the volume. You will also have to do recycling - you may even have to sort our rubbish and recyclying as sometimes people put it in the wrong bins. You have to make sure you don't leave any behind and you do it quickly. Picking up rubbish in front of rate payers could earn you bonuses. If you tear up a garden in the street with your rubbish truck, you will also have to re-plant that. This means there will be variety to your job.
So, to be part of
our team, if you have:
·
pride in Auckland, and a passion to keep it clean and tidy
You will need to smile when you pick up rubbish
·
an interest in driving a wide range of modern vehicles for a great team
We We haven't standardised our fleet (looks better to the rate payer if we mix it up with some old and new vehicles). You must also be able to drive manuals as well as have an HT licesnse and drive 6-10 wheelers if needed.
·
a need to provide the best customer experience possible, by
respecting our residents property, ensuing containers are always upright,
not blocking driveways or footpaths
Do not knock over rubbish or recycling containers. Do not run people over, block footpaths or be a general nuisance. The old lady down the road will chase you and set her dogs on you
·
knowledge that in doing a "great Job" makes Auckland's
visitors want to come back again and again.
Smile and great people while collecting rubbish
·
ability to understand and follow a designated customer route, giving
feedback where you can see improvements
Do not get lost. You need to be able to use a map or a GPS
·
a good level of team spirt along with the right fitness and agility
If you drink too much beer or eat too many take-aways, you won't be able to do the job. Spirits can only be comsumed when with the team.
·
the ability work unsupervised and follow health and safety requirements
Do not eat the rubbish, no not touch the rubbish with your bare hands and do not climb on the rubbish. Notify a Director if you do any of the above, they are now liable and could face a fine or imprisionment for your actions. No one is going to tell you how to pick up rubbish. You have to do it by yourself.
·
motivation to do a great job and commitment to best practice
hold a valid and full NZ driver's licence to be able to commute between
the different sites at any time
If you speed, crash, drink and drive, drive dangerously or can't drive in Auckland, don't apply. You will be like a human yo-yo sent from one place to the next collecting rubbish, You will know Auckland very, very well. You will sit in traffic- A LOT.
…and you want to
discover the exciting world of the outdoors, come join us today! We will have a
range of work locations across Auckland that could suit you.
To re-iterate you have to work in rain, hail, sun and wind, its an all weather job, if it doesn't make you, it will break you. Rubbish is everywhere- choose your location.
City Parks Services
has a range of existing and new contracts that include taking care of
Auckland's gardens. This is an Expression of Interest for possible
future jobs within the organisation, as they become available. This is
not an application for a current vacancy but we have plenty coming up.
You could be promoted to a gardener, we usually expect 10 years of rubbish collection experience
Register your
interest before 10 July at 10:30pm.
No one will be there at 10,30pm at night to answer your questions so we have made the closing time then.
For assistance with
registering a profile, please contact us.
Alternatively Book a Librarian session at your local
community library for assistance with submitting an application for future
vacancies or help with creating a CV/cover letter.
We can't be bothered helping you- go to your local library instead
Health and safety,
for everybody, is very important to us so before we can offer you a job we will
do security screening, criminal checks and pre-employment drug screening as per
Auckland Council's Drug and Alcohol policy.
If you are a bad person, do not apply.
Just remember a Rubbish Day can end in a good way.
Happy Abassador for Clean Day everyone!
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